The biggest problem that guys have with meeting and seducing new girls is to get over approach anxiety and open effectively. I have struggled with this for years, especially after a few days or weeks without practicing, the tension levels go right up when you approach an attractive woman.
You can cultivate a mindset that will make you rejection proof and will make approaches almost automatic, relieving you from approach anxiety and stress.
A couple of months ago I got out of an 18 month relationship and am back on the prowl… starting to approach again made me nervous, very nervous. So how do you learn pick up in a way that is effective and what is the best way to regain your PUA powers after a long break?
Everything comes from experience; it comes from what you learn from your failures… and second but not least: with experience you learn to cope with the initial pressure of the approach.
Like I already explained in the article on how to approach women, you need to get out there and actually put your ass on the line. If you don’t approach and get rejected you will get nowhere. It is a fact that you will get rejected several times. The first 50 times its going to be hard, but after that its going to be a routine. As a newbie you will think “OMFG! Getting shot down by 50 different girls! That’s a nightmare!”…
First of all, its not really a rejection. Its a badly done approach. With time you will learn how to open with more success and consistency.
Even the top pick up artists can’t open successfully on all occasions. Its a fact of life. If you fear rejection you will get too much stress from it. What makes the best pick up artists so successful is that they accept that fact and they don’t stress on it.
Getting stress from something that is inevitable is a waste of brain power and it will distract you, so train yourself and practice this acceptance of risk and rejection. Rejection is inevitable and you have to take it into account, its normal so get used to it!
After you seduce and make passionate love to a beautiful green eyed, blond, tanned, sporty Swedish girl or whatever your favourite woman is… you will remember that and not the 10 rejections you got that night.
For many years I had times when I worked on my game really hard for a short period of time and forgot about approach anxiety. My goal was to get so much momentum that I would not need to worry about approach anxiety.
What I did a couple of months ago is different. I now accept approach anxiety and I learn to feel it, appreciate it and just accept it because it will always be there. It will be there when I am in a different situation that I have not experience before.
What I am learning is how to operate at my best capacity even when I fell nervous. Instead of doing a bunch of throw away approaches I just learn to accept the anxiety and I know that my skills are good enough and that the approach will go well, because it has already worked so many times before.
When you get out of your comfort zone you get an adrenaline shot and you deal with a brand new situation, a situation that you will learn from and that will make you a more complete individual. If you do a bungee jump or go skydiving you get an adrenaline shot, when you approach an unbelievably hot girl you get an adrenaline shot…FOR FREE!
One mistake I did for years on end was approaching average girls because I thought my chances were better with them than with really hot girls.
This can be true or not but that is not what is important. The mistake I did was avoiding to approach the hot girls because I had fear or rejection. I approached average girls because I could deal with their rejection, “She isn’t that hot anyway, I probably wouldn’t have even fucked her!”.
While I was talking for hours with mediocre girls I was wasting my time and avoiding the risk of rejection because I was running from the bigger challenges. This was a form of avoiding approach anxiety!
Don’t approach average looking girls, go for the hottest ones in the venue. You have to train yourself with hot targets where there is some personal risk involved. The personal risk I am talking about is damaging your ego. Avoid approaching average looking women just because you think you have a better chance of success with them. Its a waste of time, effort and you will learn and evolve less because of it!