The biggest problem that guys have when they want their ex girlfriend back is that they become needy and start chasing the girl too much. This can go on until she is totally uncomfortable and loses all the respect (and attraction) that she still may have for you.
To know how not to get your ex back check out my article check out the article that teaches you to avoid the biggest mistakes most guys make. Acting like this is a natural reflex so its good to be aware of these reactions so that they aren’t overly obvious.
Not being a desperate needy crybaby is an essential part in having a chance to get your ex back. This article also goes into the reasons why you should not get back with her so be sure to read it because it will give you a good perspective on things…
The best way to not become needy and desperate is to have other options. After being in a relationship for a long time you lose perspective and think you can’t get any other girl… except for your ex girlfriend.
This means you have to meet other women and have interactions with them. When you approach a few women you will get a number or to and then you can go on a dates. You can check out the articles on how to approach a woman and create attraction to get started.
Meeting other women helps you realize that the world is not over just because she broke up with you. This will help your self confidence and make you forget your ex for a while.
This is also a good signal to your ex because she will think that you are not desperate and that you are moving on. You are a confident guy… you are not chasing your ex like a sad and desperate loser boy.
You should avoid contact with your ex girlfriend at all costs. Never initiate contact with your ex… no phone, no texts, no Facebook messages… nothing.
If you pass by her on the street just give her a nod or a smile. If you really have to talk to her say the bare minimum. “Everything is alright, been really busy… Was nice to see you.”
Initiating contact is chasing her and it should be avoided at all costs. When she comes and talks to you just do the bare minimum so you are cordial and polite, treat her like an acquaintance with some coldness.
When you treat a girl like this it is very normal that she goes in to rapport seeking mode because you are not chasing her. She will feel confused and will be curious… She will think “WTF changed? He was chasing me like crazy and begging me to come back… Is he over me? Did he find another girl?”
Sometimes girls don’t even think that, seeking approval is just a reflex when they are surprised that you are not the needy guy you used to be. This is what you use to your advantage if you want to get her back. Let her make an effort to get back into your life… make her deserve it.
When you don’t seek any rapport and give her the cold shoulder she will start getting more interested again. She will be drawn to you due to the fact that you are not needy with her.
This interest can appear for different reasons. You have been together and she misses the relationship because of the habit. She can be interested just for validation reasons. Because you don’t chase she might want to get back together with you or have sex with you. It is not uncommon for the attraction to disappear right after she gets what she wants… validation or sex. Sex is also validation, but the difference is that when you give her the validation by trying to make the conversation go well, touch her to much, try to kiss her she won’t have sex with you.
So your job is not to let her take the lead. When women seek validation they can get it in 2 ways, one is when you give it to them and second is when you have sex with her.
You can give her validation by calling, touching, trying to kiss her, trying to have sex with her or by showing some other kind of interest. Of course you will show a little bit of interest by agreeing to be with her and by talking to her, but don’t show any sexual interest… treat her like an acquaintance.
The idea is to treat her in a much colder way than you did when you were together, she will miss this a lot because that is the way it always used to be. When you don’t give her girlfriend privileges she will start missing the validation and the nice feelings of being close with you.
So when you don’t give her the validation she will up the stakes until she jumps on you to have sex… Then you can tell her that “I think it was a good idea to break up, so we should at least give it a little break now… lets just hang out.”
You have to play with these interest levels and see if she wants to resolve the problems that you had in the relationship before. Say you are curious at why things went wrong because you want to learn from it so your next relationship is better. Try to look cool and un-reactive when she speaks her mind because there may be some shocking truths and it is likely that she will try to manipulate you with some dramas and bullshit.
Its my opinion that a man that has self respect doesn’t need to tolerate drama if he doesn’t want to but that decision is up to each man. When you are talking to an ex girlfriend remember that she will still want to talk to you and treat you like a “boyfriend” when it suits her. Keep some distance and call her on it when she is getting mean or manipulative.
Start thinking more about yourself, get a sporty hobby and start treating your body right. Doing sports and exercise helps release endorphins and it makes you a relaxed and happy person. For me this does wonders to relieve stress and anxiety.
The release of endorphins and the effects of the exercise will give a huge confidence boost. If you feel lonely and needy because she broke up with you then you definitely need some confidence right?
To get your ex girlfriend back it is crucial to be willing to move on. You can fake this or you can come to the conclusion that this is really the only solution. I think the second is the best.
If you got broken up there were some issues in the relationship. No more attraction, she cheated on you, you cheated on her, lack of confidence or for any other reason the relationship didn’t have a future.
When you come to the conclusion that there are millions of other attractive women out there and that you still have many years to live… are you sure you want to spend them fixing a broken relationship?
As I said before you can fake the willingness to move on or you can really mean it. The second position is the best because it puts you in a place of power and abundance. You can go and get other women and you are not needy and clingy to that one “miraculous” relationship you had.
Never worry if she knows you are dating other girls, that is the point. The point is to move on or at least look like you are moving on.
When we look back at relationships we tend to give more value to the good memories. Remember the bad stuff that happened also so you get some perspective and a more neutral point of view over the relationship you had.
Try to look at the relationship in an unbiased and objective way and you will come to the conclusion that breaking up is not as bad as you thought before.
Chances are that you conclude that it wasn’t all perfect, that it was an average relationship and that life will move on… its not the end of the world!
The truth of the matter is that you need to be (or appear) self confident and not needy if you want a chance to get your girlfriend back.
Women are attracted to centered, confident and unreactive guys and they don’t want a guy whose life revolves around them. They want to take part of your fun filled and adventurous life, not the other way around.
Meeting other women helps you keep your mind of your ex girlfriend and get your emotions back to a positive state. When other women are interested in you and try to seduce you will feel more attractive and that does wonders.
Some guys get very introverted and depressed when their girlfriend they thought was the woman of their life breaks up with them. This “depression” can go on for months and years and I guarantee you that every guy that goes through these long periods of feeling bad for a woman regrets it.
This state of depression is self inflicted due to not taking action. As a man you have to take the first steps to meet women… every guy knows that he can’t be afraid to approach an attractive woman. If you don’t approach and take the risk of getting rejected you will feel very lonely for a long time.
If you met your previous girlfriends or hookups through a social circle and never did any cold approaches then this a great time to start!
Feeling blue for months or years of your life because of a woman is a waste of time. Those months and years can be spent having fun and memorable life.
Remember that when you are meeting women after a break up you are just having fun and looking at your options. You should not try to convert every girl you date into a girlfriend.
Being single for a few months is a great thing. It helps you get some perspective and a new view on things.
Just be sure to approach girls, get girls numbers and go for some coffee dates and see where it goes from there.
When you follow these steps that I talked about you will be a happier guy than if you are just busy thinking and wallowing in misery thinking about your ex girlfriend.
Remember that at the end of the day this post breakup depression is self inflicted. Its normal to feel sad and feel bad about it, but as a man you have to take action and do something about it. Don’t stay in that state of self pity and sadness because if you let it go its way it will go on for a very long time.
If you have come out a very long relationship you will have an apprehension or a phobia of meeting new people. This is normal but like everything else with seduction you have to be willing to jump out of your comfort zone. If you don’t do it, nobody is going to do it for you.
I hope this article has given you some actionable and useful tips on how to get your girlfriend back and how you can deal with the situation in the best way possible. If you have any questions please leave a comment bellow!